I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
