Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
