Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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