i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
