You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Randomize
