Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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