is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
