escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
