The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
