fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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