hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
