You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
