I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
