I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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