Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
