Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I believe in your delicious
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
