yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
