i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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