Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize