so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
