I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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