So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
