Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
