You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
