I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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