I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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