Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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