i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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