This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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