Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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