sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
