I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
