Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
