Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
