Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
