My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My hand turned me down
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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