is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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