Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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