You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
