M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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