what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
