no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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