Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
