Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
