i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
