some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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