According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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