So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
