am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
