Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
