Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
