Your tits are I can't wait for
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
